Aku Bukan Sebagai Aku

Aku memang masih ada disini, tapi bukan sebagai Aku
Entah siapa yang sekarang mengendalikan diriku
Yang pasti, itu bukanlah Hati dan Akalku
Diriku seakan diselimuti oleh material yang membatasi pandanganku
Pikiranku terkurung dalam pola-pola yang abstrak

Aku bertindak, bukan karena memang aku ingin melakukan,
tapi agar aku diperlakukan
Aku berpikir, bukan untuk mencari kebenaran,
tapi agar aku membenarkan

Jauh sudah kuterhanyut dalam sebuah ketiadaan akan Diriku
Aku lebih senang menjadi dirimu, mereka, atau diri siapapun
Asalkan mereka menganggap diriku ada, walau itu bukanlah Aku

Di mana diriku tersembunyi

Tak mungkin dirimu, mereka atau siapapun,
Kan mampu menunjukkannya
Karena kalian sama sepertiku,
Kita berada dalam kebutaan

Di mana diriku tersembunyi

Tak mungkin dirimu, mereka, atau siapapun,
Kan mampu menjawabnya
Karena kalian sama sepertiku,
Kita berada dalam kebodohan

Di mana diriku tersembunyi

Hanya aku yang akan menemukannya,
Bukan dirimu, mereka, atau siapapun
Karena Aku adalah Aku,
Bukan dirimu, mereka atau siapapun

(28 agustus 2006, 10.46 wib)
by Acep Helmi (copy and paste from acephelmi.blogspot.com)

Time Forgets.

In reality, Time never forgets.
It walks straight in Its pace, never coming back, because everything They threw in the back followed them. Just in case They need it again.

But true, if you tried to forget someone or something, the Time is the one who helped you to forget it.
They take that thing from you.


I took this title from a classic piano music with the same title, played by Yiruma. First time I heard this music, suddenly I remembered my childhood memories. Filled by joy yet still so many sad scenes following. And while I wrote this, I played this music on my iTunes.
But then, I heard this music again lately, with different circumstances: Love. Because Yiruma composed this music on his album titled "First Love". I remembered everyone I had loved, and I loved. When the music reached the part which came with the violin, I remembered a quote for someone:

"Never forget. Because forgetting means you're just trying to remember it harder."

At that time, I agreed with that quote. I never forget everything, or even everyone I had loved. I always appreciate everything with my heart. When you tried to forget someone you loved, you tried to dump everything about them. Delete them from your mind, heart, from your world. Never want to see, hear, or meet them again. But did you ever think about the probability? Does your heart ready to face that?

What do you need is just forgive. And let the Time take them from yours.

So, do you still need to forget?